Date #18 - Tall, Slim and Clumsy
Date #19 - Balding Chick
Date #20 - Girl who’s allergic to everything
Date #21 - Neurotic Doctor
Date #22 - Swing dancing Nav
Date #23 - Criminal Intent
Date #24 - 19 year old
Date #25 - Cupcake Kim
Date #26 - World Traveling Rico
Date #27 - Cute Korean
Date #28 - Jamaica
Date #39 - Redhead
Date #30 - Vanessa
Date #31 - Busty Jag
Date #32 - Tina
There’s this girl who was on my MSN for quite a while.. I have no idea how or what.. but we started talking on the phone and we had a lot to talk about. Anyways, she had been really busy with all her get-rich-quick schemings, moving and work and I had started a new job and moved and so we just talked every week or so.
We decided to get together one day as she was doing some temp work downtown. So it was all good, she was cute and we got on like we got on the phone.. easy breezy. But, it felt as though she was trying to sell me something with all her talk about the pyramid product business, so it was hard for me to escalate into anything meaningful. Anyways, I left it at that and we continued to talk.
One night we were talking and she was going on about how she was going to be rich and have this and have that by a certain time frame get married have this house how many cars etc… Frankly I was getting sick of hearing about her unicorn dreams so I asked her to tell me exactly what she was going to have and that I’m going to write it down. Well, someone took great offense to that and she told me that I was being negative and she doesn’t need negativity in her life and she can no longer talk to me.
Last time we spoke.
It’s been a while and I have not really been updating these as I should.. but nothing spectacular has really happened worth writing down in a hurry.
Talked to Gurpreet from online, who grew up in London and lives here, for a couple of weeks. Got on well, easy to talk to, although she talked a lot about her family and certain situational things as though she was trying for some type of validation. Anyways, we eventually met but nothing really happened. No spark, no real great chemistry. Talked a couple of times after and then I tapped out.
So… one day I was chillin and my cell rang and looking at the number not recognizing it, stupid me picked it up. It was an aunt… an aunt I had not seen nor talked to that much. And this aunt told me that she talked to mother dearest and got my digits from her and that she had a girl in mind. Which is weird.. because for my aunt to call the bat phone is huge taboo in my world. However, I had picked up, so what could I do but entertain her. She told me about this girl that she knew.. so I ran with it. She said that she would get the girls digits for me.
The next day, I got a call from such said girl - even before my aunt could get me her number (clue #1) and we talked for a bit. Girl talked really really fast, I could only catch every second or third word, but we talked for about half an hour. My aunt called that night to give me girls number.. but I told her that girl already called.
A few weeks went on and we talked here and there. Girl never asked anything about me (clue #2) but only talked about what was going on in her world.. and again, I could only catch every second or third word and I wondered to myself if I was getting old and slow. Honestly, I think I am. In one convo she was telling me that she was going to the Richmond Market and she always runs into black football players there and is looking forward to it (clue #3) that evening as well.
Anyways, we arranged a time to meet and so we met at Starbucks (sigh). I got there a bit early because I wanted to leave early.. and there were only white and oriental people there.. I saw an east indian girl walk in, but I pretended to read the newspaper and I saw her walk in, look around… turn around then start dialing on her cell phone (presumably to call me, thinking that the east indian IN the joint could not possibly be me.. clue #4). At which point I let out a big sigh… because girl had a big nose, no chin, flat boobs and a big butt… she looked like a younger version of my aunt. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
She turned around and I looked at her and waved. She came over and we went up while she got her drink. Eventually we sat down and stared to talk a bit. But here is the key difference.. even though I was not into her, I made a rather big effort to try to converse, while, I don’t know if she was shy, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to talk (clue #5). Slowly she opened up and she started talking such that I could only catch every second or third word… but a half hour went by and then I tapped out.
So that is that. Even from talking to her on the phone I knew we had nothing in common, but because there is family involved, I thought I should go the extra effort myself to try to see where it went.
It went nowhere.
I think it’s time to change my number.
Jass had called me up one day after such a long time of us first talking. We talked once I think and then life got really busy for me. Anyways, she called and said that it had been a long time since we talked and that out of a lot of the people she had met, I seemed the most normal. We chatted for a bit and she mentioned that she was coming up to the mainland so we decided to get together.
We met at Chapters for about half an hour and got on well. She was pretty, kind of shy, but overall nice. I think though, that since she is more or less my age, she’s kind of in a hurry to get married - also, I think her mom is in poor health which ads a bit of pressure to a young indian woman. Nevertheless we talked a bit now and then over the following week.
However, the next few weeks we just got out of sync.. I would call but she wouldn’t pick up (busy?) and a few days later I’d get a call back but then I was busy. As well, she never takes the initiative to call me on her own.. she would basically wait for me to call and we would talk or she would return my call. I have no idea if it’s because she thinks a guy should do the calling, or if she’s shy and has self-esteem issues, or what - I sense that she’s interested, however, in my books if there is distance between two people then communication is all that more important and if you don’t have that… you really ain’t got nothing worth nothing.
In any case, I’m really busy at the moment and so I let this one slide…
Ah, infamous #13.
I had asked a friend to set me up, and she showed me a bunch of pictures of single girls that she knew and after getting some more info I thought I’d call one of them up, for there was something about her in her picture that made me want to get to know her better.
So, I called her up one day and we talked for a bit, then another time a few weeks later but she was at the hospital, so this conversation was quite short. Anyways, a few months later I was at home and saw her number and debated calling. I mean, she had my number but never called and it had been quite some time since our first conversation… but I thought, there’s nothing to lose really, so I called and we decided to get together that weekend for a coffee.
We got together at the mall and.. she didn’t really look like her picture.. but then again, who really does. The picture is just a moment in space-time and who a person really is, is so many more dimensions than just that. Anyways we walked around for a bit and got on reasonably well I think. She seemed nice and really down to earth and she laughed at my lame ass jokes.
Second date, we went bowling and had lots of fun. She doesn’t take things too seriously, although, she had been working abroad for a few years and often started most of her stories with “Oh, me and ____, when I was living in Korea, we ___” quite a bit.
Anyways, we dated for about a month. I was the first brown guy she had dated, and she was the first brown girl who was more oriental asian than east indian that I had ever dated. So it was a bit of a first for both of us. In that time I had surgery, we had gone to America, hung out here and there, made plans to take dancing classes, and had what I thought was a pretty good time. But for some reason she got this feeling that things had gone “weird” between us. I’m pretty sure I know what had happened, but it is what it is.
What I liked most about her was her attitude and her enthusiasm. We were both fun to hang out with, even just doing nothing was fun. But, once someone gets that feeling that things are off, or that things are “weird”, no matter what happens, those events in life get colored with that perspective and things seem different that they normally would be. I’m kind of glad that this happened when it did, for I was thinking about introducing her to my friends and family, and it would have been more difficult to break up later rather than sooner.
Such is life. I hope she gets all the best things in life, but this relationship was not meant to be.
For either of us.
So, I had been talking to this girl for about 6-8 months. She is the sister of a someone of someone of someone of a girl from the circle of friends I had made through UVic. Anyways, we talked now and then on the phone and it turns out we know a lot of the same people. To this end, I was reluctant to actually get together with her, simply because I thought we should stay friends rather than pursue anything because you never know right? The last thing which would be desired is to have friends take sides. In anycase, the reason I say that isn’t because I thought it was doomed for failure, but given the track record I have thus far… there’s a good probability, and further, I didn’t really get a romantic vibe in our interactions. I’d prefer to remain friends.
So, as time went on, we talked here and there and during the conversations she was always doing something else while talking to me. She could never just do one thing at a time and I wonder to myself what that stems from. Sometimes, even when I was talking about something I could sense that she wasn’t paying attention and only asked questions when it somehow benefited her or she gained something. Often she would complain about friends doing this or doing that, or family members doing this or doing that and that she thought they should be doing something else. The primary complaint was in how ‘honest’ they were or how open they were with things. It is interesting to note, that the items which she complained about, were the very items that she herself could be called upon as being guilty of.
So, anyways, I put off getting together as long as could. But, one weekend I had nothing going on and she was coming up, so we got together. She had come up for a couple of birthday parties and was staying with family. She phoned me up Saturday morning to get together that afternoon.. and then I could drop her off at her other family members house. I wanted to sleep in a bit longer but she said no. Let’s meet at 1pm. I asked for 2, she said no 1pm. I asked for 1:30.. she said no 1pm. So, I went back to bed to sleep a bit longer and then got up and was at Chapters at 1pm on the dot. I called her but she didn’t pick up. So I went book shopping. She texted me at 1:15 saying that she was on the way. And then, about 5 minutes later and another text saying “I’m about to come in”. I was getting the impression that I should have been waiting at the front for the grand walk through of the doors, as some diva was about to make the grand entrance. But, I was at the back, absorbed in a biography. So, I let it go for about 5 minutes and then my phone rang as she was calling me. I could see her walking around with her luggage on the phone, so rather than answering the phone (or running away - which is what I should have done) I walked up and said hello.
We walked around for a few minutes while I gauged her up and down in disapproval, and then I went to pay for my books and we left to goto the mall. We were originally going to go for a walk, but it was raining outside, so we opted to hit up a mall. And I was hungry, as I had not had much of a lunch yet.
While driving there, she began telling me about the birthday party she had gone to the night before. And how, some of the girls there were acting/were, and how she thought they should have been. The whole time, she was chewing her gum very noisily with her mouth open.. much akin to how a cow may chew its cud. At that moment, I realized that the whole time that I have known her, she’s been talking about other people, what they do right, what they do wrong, how they should treat her and how people should treat people, and in all that time I’ve not known her to have done anything extra ordinary which differs than anything that those people whom she spoke of have done. Also, in that short drive to the mall, it seemed as though she might have ADD, or the onset of it. At time she would break out talking a mix of Punjabi and English to make a point about dippers. It didn’t make too much sense to me.
The mall - nothing spectacular, we ate, I did my best to be accommodating and polite, but I can’t really say that I like the girl all that much, let alone be friends in the future. I think she lives in her head quite a bit and has her own version of reality which differs from the reality present in the world. I guess, to some degree we are all like that, but some people more so out of touch than others. Quite, honestly, who am I to say that… but I guess my version and her version differ enough.
Anyways, I dropped her back off near where she was staying that night and wished her well. We spoke and texted a bit after, but this relationship will have no more energy and time from me, than what I get.
This happened a while ago, but I took a break as I had left my job and had a month off and then started a new job.
I had been talking to this girl NR for a week or so. A pretty nice girl to talk to. One of her favorite things to do was to talk a lot about something random and then suddenly say “So, what else?”, and go quiet while I said.. “umm.. not much” and then had the confused smiley look on my face. Anyways, as time went on we found out that nothing much was going on in my life (as I was in the process of winding down at my job and looking forward to a few months off) and she had recently gotten divorced, the papers of which had not yet been completed and she was going through some things with a few of her friends.
And by “things” I mean drama. I love drama, especially when it does not involve me, and I mean that… because drama is just an opportunity to engage in not-so-normal experiences and events while getting the chance to see the behavior in people that you wouldn’t normally see. The drama that she was going through was with her ex-husband, one of her married friends and with her dating life. I don’t know why I am actually writing about this, other than, perhaps I should have steered clear when this bit of knowledge came apparent to mine ear. Her relationship with her husband wasn’t the greatest, during marriage and even after the divorce, but it seems like it’s a good thing that they decided not to pursue the relationship. Additionally, her good friend who has been married for 6 years told her that he was always in love with her (they knew each other since gr 3) and he got married to girl B because he didn’t know how she felt… and on that particular night I spoke with her, she said that as he was leaving her place, he planted a smooch on her lips. Further, a couple of guys she had seen as date potential had been not getting the message that she wasn’t interested in them, and they are.. well, turning into stalkers.
Now, I wasn’t really that interested from the get go, because anytime I would go to say something, like for example “Oh, I broke my arm when….” - I would get cut off, and she would then illustrate a story in her life when she had broken her arm. Then she would talk a lot about random things and then quickly go “So, what else?”. It was really odd. Entertaining, but odd.
Anyways, so we met at a coffee place for a quick drink and she seemed pretty nice. She was fit (she plays a lot of soccer) and the conversation more or less went like it did on the phone. She said that I looked fit and asked me if how much I weighed. And if you know me, it’s something I’m working on.. so I asked her to guess and she guessed “170lbs”. 2 bonus points for her. She said most of the guys she meets have beer bellies. The funniest thing is, and which made me smile a lot, was as she was talking about stuff.. she would talk so much so, that sometimes I swear I could see her eyes roll and look around the room for something to do, as if they themselves were tired of her mouth moving so much.
We talked for about an hour before I said that I had to go. The interaction lacked a spark and though we could have been remained friends, I wasn’t feeling the vibe. We texted a few times after and then it just fizzled out.
In hindsight, I don’t think I would have met her save for the fact that I had nothing else to do as I wasn’t working.
So, this new girl and I got a hold of each other online. For the life of me, I can’t remember her name. She was a medical professional (synonymous to a doctor) and we barley chatted on the phone. I found it hard to carry a conversation with her, she just didn’t talk much or try to talk much, but to be honest, I’m kind of sick of the same verbal diarrhea talk over and over again. You end up asking and answering the same questions over and over. So, the conversations were kept short and we decided to get together for a drink….
We met at a coffee place one evening after work - she lives pretty close to where she works so it was easier for her. Anyways, I found her to be really cute, and we got along well. We talked about a bunch of junk and I think not really having talked much on the phone made it easier. The weird thing I noticed about her even when I first met her, was that her body language was really tight. Even when she talked, her body hardly moved at all, her head made micro movements and it was basically her eyes and her mouth which were animated. I don’t know what that means… I just found it interesting.
So, as I had to get up early for work, we called it a night. I called her a couple of days later and said that it was good and fun and let’s do it again.. and she was up for it too, and I told her I’d call her later in the week to make plans as we’d know our schedules better.
So, I give her a hollar and we talked for a little bit. As expected it was hard to get conversation going.. she wanted to go for dinner the next day, but on that Wednesday my plans was to come home from work, work out, quickly eat and then I’d have about half an hour to an hour to myself before I gotta start getting ready for bed. I don’t really like doing intimate things like dinner with people whom I’m getting to know… I’m just weird like that. Maybe on the 3rd or 4th date, but the 1st and 2nd I like to engage in activity and do something where we can talk and just have fun. Dinner is too formal for me. So I suggested, maybe not dinner, but desert? So, desert it was.
I had a bad sleep and work was a long work day. I got home, wasn’t really in the mood to work out, but I done did my thing, ate and then showered to head out. After the shower… oh, I was ready for bed. I really wasn’t in the mood to try to be entertaining. At the same time, I didn’t want to cancel.
So, as I’m driving out there… I think to myself, hey.. why not have a few shots, it might loosen me up. So, I stopped by a pub and took a few shots and headed out. I got to our agreed upon destination and was a few minutes late. We were the only ones there. We ordered a dish to share. And again, her posture and body language was very.. mechanical and rigid. Whereas, mine… was more slouchy and aloof. I tried my best, but honestly, I was really tired, my eyes expressed that fact, and I think the shots really were a bad move (pretty damn obvious in hindsight). As they wore off, I got more and more tired. We talked, but there was little romance.
I suggested we go for a walk, but the mall was closed as it was 9pm now and she declined. So, I walked her back to her car and went home to sleep.
I thought about calling her the following week.. but then, thought against it. I want someone where it doesn’t feel like work just having a conversation, where the dialog doesn’t seem forced and someone who is relaxed and flexible like me.
There isn’t too much to say about this one… we met at Starbucks and she is like 90 lbs - and makes me look like a huge buff guy next to her. I was afraid of breathing too hard or sneezing as I might injure her. She seems pretty nice, but it’s not really going to go anywhere. I don’t know why..
She is really into the holistic thing, and into “The Secret”; that you can attract anything into your life by having good thoughts and intentions - which is nice, I mean it’s nice to have a positive outlook on life and things, but at the same time, you have to face reality as well.. saying that you will have everything you want in life because you put your attention and intention on it, sometimes is delusional thinking. A giraffe will never become a cheetah not matter how hard the giraffe wishes it. Oh, it may believe it is a cheetah though, but those are projecting fantasies rather than reality. There comes a point with all this new age secret stuff where it’s just nauseating and people want to smash your head in.
Case in point, she’s moving to Victoria for work and is looking for a rental place - I’ve moved back and forth from Victoria at least half a dozen times because of the program I was in. Depending on the season and the time, it is hard to find a good place, one that is to your liking (almost as hard as it is to find a good girl!). You need time, and you need to go visit the places to get a feel for them. I remember one basement suite I checked out, it seemed really nice in the advert and the pictures, but when I went there to actually see what it was like, the only place where I could stand up without hunching over was the bathroom. The bathroom was ~6′2 whereas the rest of the place was ~ 5′8. Anyways P keeps telling me that she will find an awesome place because that’s what she wants and that is what she is telling the universe her desire is. I was trying to explain my experience, but… no.. who knows too right? I could be wrong, so I’m totally looking at the situation knocking it… but, I know what I know. In anycase, we shall see what occurs. It’s been 3 weeks and no place yet for her and I think she’s going down in 2 more weeks.
Then again, maybe it’s just me.